and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
from now on my penis is your penis
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
