i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
