Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
