It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
