words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
