you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
