The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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