you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
