I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
