I need help removing her.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Let's get the cat blown out
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
