I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
