can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
