Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
