Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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