Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
