he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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