I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
