Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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