we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
