Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
