somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
