Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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