if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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