We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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