oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Too much gin, very little bucket
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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