I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
