I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
