ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
