I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I deserve this hangover.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
