So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
