im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
