guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
