It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
