I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
