he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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