If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize