i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
