i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
