I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize