i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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