and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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