does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
