So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
