redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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