So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
