If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
