He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
