the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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