Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
