that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
