Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
well, you know. whores of a feather.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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