Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
