Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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