When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
