I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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