i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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