Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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