hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize