NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
