i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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