you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize