me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
