who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
