I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
