i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
