ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
