i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize